


Draco Malfoy the Disaster

by BabyTheLady



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini is a Good Friend, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Hangover, Hickeys, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Humor, Idiots in Love, I’m gonna stop now, Kinda, M/M, Morning After, Not Like That, POV Blaise Zabini, Swearing, The tags are half the length, Yule Ball (Harry Potter), is this a hickey or a bruise?, its like 1000 words long, maybe..., teen awkwardness, yeh idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26651950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyTheLady/pseuds/BabyTheLady
Summary: A whole bunch of little one shots to do with the Slytherins and Draco Malfoy the Disaster. Most of the ships are pretty freeform or just comedic. This is very light.Chapters range from 900-5000 words depending on everything. I will be updating here to cope with my scattered brain and shitty update schedule.I accept prompts! Gimme them prompts!None of them really exist in the same universe. Very Drabble, for much fun.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson & Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott, also implied, implied, just shits and giggles, nothing concrete - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 83





	1. Hungover

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a thing I wrote at 1am, enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after in the Slytherin Dormitories. These idiots.

The day started of as mundane as any other for most of the students and staff.

That is, until you got to the Slytherin 4th years. Whom all woke up with headaches akin to boulders pressing down onto their heads, a distinct lack of hangover potion, and a multitude of gaps in their memories. In short, they all woke up with regrets. 

It was the morning after the Yule Ball, and all of the Slytherin 4th years had gone a little bit wild with their smuggled hip flasks and hidden bottles of firewhisky. But, in their defence, The Weird Sisters had been playing at the ball, and you couldn’t not party when you were at a party. 

The ones in lesser pain, such as Pansy and Greg, had attempted to smuggle some hangover potions out of Snape’s office, but alas, the bat-resembling professor had charmed his stores well.

So all of them would have to deal with it the old fashion way. With sunglasses, water and mild pain numbing charms. Though you had to be careful with this charm, as if you used it too frequently, it would numb your brain as well. 

Not that there would be much difference with these idiots.

Hopefully, if they all played it off and acted cool, they could present the sunglasses as a new motif for their gang.

No regard for the fact that it was a cold and grey winter day without a ray of run to be seen for miles.

Draco Malfoy was in the worst shape of them all, as he’d elected to drink as if he wanted his organs to fail right in front of him. He drank like he was having his arm chopped off and it was the only way to numb the pain. He drank like he had a large infatuation with Harry Potter and wanted to forget all about it.

I’ll give you a hint: only one of those things was true.

Blaise Zabini followed close behind, only coping because he’d handled his alcohol far better than Draco did, and wanted to stay sober enough to hear all the embarrassing things Draco blabbered about when drunk.

The topics dried up considerably after Draco got round to discussing his favourite speccy git.

Although Blaise did have a fond memory of Draco standing on the common room table and yelling that he was “the baddest bitch in this goddamn house” before giving half the year a strip show by taking of his shirt and jacket and throwing it into the catcalling audience.

He was interrupted from his musings by a loud and pained groan coming from the bed next to him. 

He turned to look and came face to face with an extremely hungover and partied out Draco Malfoy. 

He was still wearing his trousers and socks, but only one shoe (?) and had his tie wrapped around his forehead, mussing up his usually oh so perfect hair. One his stomach in green ink was “THE WEIRD SISTERS” and the cherries on top were his bright pink painted nails and the large bruise on his neck. 

“What...am I doing......what...?” Draco muttered as he took in his surroundings. “Why...don’t I have my shirt on? And why is my stomach painted on...in green? And did Pansy paint...my nails?” He continued to mutter questions to himself as he got out of his bed, gripping his head. 

As he walked into the shared bathroom, Blaise could hear him mutter, “Never drinking again...”

A few second passed as the tap ran before Blaise heard a loud squeal.

“IS THIS A HICKEY?!” 

Blaise guffawed at the question and was spurred into a round of maniacal sounding giggles, the sound waking up the rest of the dorm.

“Keep it down you hussies, I’ve got a head the feels like it was steamrolled by the Hogwarts Express.” Theo Nott complained, hugging his pillow over said head. 

“Don’ ee ‘ave clath doday?” Vince asked, walking out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. 

“Oh shit! Vince is right, we do! We missed breakfast!” Draco yelled. The entire dorm groaned in disappointment. “AND WE HAVE CLASS IN TEN MINUTES!” The entire dorm jumped out of their beds in a panic, some falling on the floor, and immediately began getting ready. 

Trousers left on from the night before were colour charmed to look like uniform, and school jumpers were thrown across rooms to make sure everyone was covered up. Most already had their ties tied to their foreheads so that they could transfer it into their outfits, and everyone was scrambling to get to the bathroom to brush out the disgusting taste of last night from their teeth. 

“Why the fuck isn’t this coming off?!” Draco asked the dorm, rapidly scrubbing at the green text on his stomach with a flannel. Blaise snickered.

“Just cover it up with a shirt, we can deal with it later.” Draco obeyed and covered himself with the rest of his uniform. He looked into a mirror on the wall with a grimace.

“This hickey-or bruise-or whatever! Isn’t covered up.” He turned to Theo, who was sporting a matching one, and flushed. He pointed to the ‘bruise’ on Theo’s neck. “Did I do that?” He asked nervously. 

Theo smirked. “If it means I get to take the credit for that thing, then sure.” He pointed to Draco’s ‘bruise’ smugly. Draco flushes pinker, all the way up to his ears. 

“Uh...sure then. Okay. That’s fine. Fine and dandy. Perfectly adequate. That is so okay with me, I am cool with it, it’s fine...” he continued as he walked back into the bathroom.

Blaise snickered again.

“We have five minutes left.” Mentioned Greg, ever so helpful. Vince nodded along next to him, trying to brush his hair down.

Draco exited the bathroom, the ‘bruise’ looking faded and more unnoticeable, trying to find his missing shoe. 

“Does anyone remember anything that happened last night? I blacked out after our card games.” Draco asked.

“You mean after you wiped the floor with us and stole fifty galleons, 20 sugar quills and 30 chocolate frogs from everyone?” Theo corrected, recalling the gambling hour.

“I’m still convinced you cheated.” Vince mentioned sourly, being the one to lose the most chocolate frogs.

“Nah, I’ve been playing cards since I was five. I inherited a really nice set after Grandfather Abraxas kicked the bucket, but I was never supposed to play with them. Decoration only, father said. So I asked the Manor’s portraits to teach me how and forced the house elves to learn how to play too, so I could have some regular practice. I am 80% sure that I accidentally started a gambling night amongst the house elves for who gets which chore to do.” Draco explained while fitting on his other shoe. He took a hand through his hair and looked to Blaise.

“How does my hair look?”

“Like you’ve been shagged.” Theo popped in. Draco refused to look him in the eye and flushed a deep red. 

“Oh shit I don’t have time to brush it and clear it.” He panicked, biting in his nails. Then he looked down at his nails. “Oh double shit!”

“I don’t see what the problem is in people thinking you got some last night.” Blaise said, smirking.

“Maybe the problem comes in me not being a confident slut like you, and if people were to think I shagged someone, they’d assume it was Pansy since she was my date last night.” He shivered. “I do adore Pansy with all my heart but I would never go anywhere with her, ever.” 

“Don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual.” Pansy’s voice called from the doorway. “You’re lucky we have potions first lesson or you boys would be fucked. Now grab your textbooks and shit and let’s go. There’s only so much Snape is willing to be patient for.” 

“Uh, Pansy? Can you help me out please?” Draco showed his nails to her and she guffawed. 

“I’ll charm them after the first two lessons, but this is too good an opportunity to miss,” she cackled and Draco scowled. 

“Fucking fine then, be a bitch.” He muttered as he collected his school supplies in a satchel and walked out of the dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave a comment and a kudo and I’ll see in the next one!


	2. No Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco is in denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo I am writing the next chapter of Double Trouble I am so sorry it has been a tough month for me. Enjoy!

No. He refused to believe it. There was no way. NO WAY he had a crush on POTTER of all people. It’s ridiculous. It’s comical. It’s a bad joke told in a monotone, only electing a chuckle out of one person. 

It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard and there is no way it’s true.

Blaise must just be barmy. And Pansy is a right drunken bint half the time, so no one can trust her judgment. And of course you could never rely on Greg and Vince for a smart idea. And Theo...Theo is a prat, and prats lie. So in conclusion there really was no way that him, Draco Lucius Abraxas Orion Calindarea Pentious Maxium Malfoy, could have a crush on such a loathsome, self centred, arrogant, Gryffindor, self sacrificing speccy git that is Potter. It’s impossible. 

End of story.

End of.

The end.

...

And he wasn’t obsessed with Potter! He just made sure he knew where he was at all times! You know, for defence! And it made great entertainment to rile him up, and so easy too. You only had to insult his friends or dead parents to get him angry as all hell. It was hilarious! 

And it isn’t weird to know a lot of facts about Potter! Such as his entire timetable, or that his favourite subject is Defence Against the Dark Arts, or that his favourite food is treacle tart, or that he’s allergic to strawberries, or that his favourite colour is red, or that his middle name is James, or that his wand is a holly Phoenix feather core, or that he enjoys long walks on the beach, or any of that! It isn’t weird! It’s called *knowing your enemy* and it’s perfectly reasonable considering he’s Draco’s arch nemesis. Keep your friends close, stalk your enemies closer and all that. 

On another note, don’t you think it’s a little rude that Potter is his arch nemesis, but Draco isn’t his. I mean, because of all that Voldemort stuff that’s going on, Draco’s probably only his SECOND worst enemy! Can you believe it! After all he goes through the make Potter’s school years living hell, which he never fails at every single day, making sure Potter knows how much he hates him through snide comments and well designed pranks, and suddenly the Dark Lord or whatever swoops in at the end of the year and takes all the credit for ruining Potters school life! At most it was a “team effort” but Voldemort didn’t do shit. Especially last year, Draco thinks something else weird and traumatising happened to Potter at the end of third, but it’s hard to keep up. Especially when you’re sporting a wound like Draco was. 

It was quite rude to assume Draco would have such a lack of standards! If Draco were to have a crush on the boy who lived, the boy who lived would have to at least be an 11/10. Potter’s barely a 5. Maybe a 6 on a good day. Definitely an 8 when his hair goes that perfect combination of curly and messy and swooping into silky locks of hair rather than miscellaneous cow licks.....but no higher than that! And an 8 would never do for a MALFOY.

And Potter isn’t even attractive. Draco has no idea why so many teen girls flock to him. And Potter’s so awkward he doesn’t even notice, and breaks all the pretty girls’ hearts.   
Classic Icarus situations, flying too close to the sun. Their wings all burnt up.   
Icarus was a fucking idiot anyway. Wax melts? Gee, what a shocker! That’s why you don’t take risks. That’s why you don’t fly close to the sun. You either get burnt or your wax wings melt. It’s not worth your time.

Where was he?

Oh right! Potter’s complete lack of good looks and attractiveness! 

Everyone’s always going on about his green eyes, and how they look like his mothers’, or how they sparkle like emeralds or some other nonsense. Doesn’t anyone know colours?! His eyes obviously resemble more of shamrock or parakeet shade than emerald, and in a darker light they take on more of a basil or pine tone. All which are not *emerald* or what everyone says.

And they’re not as green as a “fresh pickled toad” Weaslette! Learn how to write poetry you poor sod. Draco didn’t even need to try with an insult that day, she gave him the content right there! 

Or maybe don’t learn poetry...it would be funnier...

And his scar isn’t even that interesting or cool! Draco has a cooler one on his knee from when he was seven and fell off his broom, but you don’t see anyone running to the Prophet about that, now do you?

It was probably just the Dark Lord being incompetent again. He gets defeated by a baby and people are still afraid to say his name! Why is everyone acting like such quivering bollocks? 

And here he thought they were British!

And his signature glasses that will most likely be on Potter merchandise until the day Draco dies. Oh don’t get him started on those poor things! 

Potter really ought to learn fashion. He’s in the public eye now! He needs to pick out a higher quality accessory or two. If Draco were a celebrity you wouldn’t see him showing up on the front page of the Prophet looking like Potter does. 

Those insipid wiry frames that look like they were less than a pound. Poor glasses, being so close to those shamrock/parakeet/basil/pine eyes all day. Draco’s pretty sure Potter was born with those things. It would match the rest of him. All thin, wiry, cheap and easy to break. 

Speaking of, Potter really ought to eat some more. He’s terribly skinny and thin all the time, and he comes back from the summer holidays looking practically starved. Makes Draco wonder what that muggle family are feeding him. Or maybe he just has a high metabolism like Draco, and Draco isn’t one to judge something that he has. He’s many things, a fashion icon, a Slytherin , a bully, a star quidditch player, the heir to an enormous fortune, a bitch, but Draco is not a hypocrite.

So really, Draco absolutely does not have a crush on that speccy, green eyed, messy haired tosser! And he will never have a crush on him! 

Who would even like a stupid fool like Potter. He’s silly and self sacrificing and is a right cunt at the best of times. He can take a punch and keep on coming, but that just means he doesn’t know how to quit. He’s a pretty good wizard, but it’s all an over exaggeration, and he doesn’t even get that good grades. He smells bad, he’s unfashionable, he doesn’t know how to groom, he’s talked about far too much, he’s full of himself, needs to be brought down to earth all the time, and he’s a dick to all Slytherins.

He’s kind of like the sun. Everyone talks about how amazing it is, and forgets all about how it burns you and melts your wax wings. 

So as for Draco having a crush on Potter? 

Well it’s ridiculous.

It’s comical. 

It’s a bad joke told in a monotone, only electing a chuckle out of one person. 

It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard and there is no way it’s true.

And it’s never going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that a whole lot! I have another one shot in the works already so that may come out within the next week if my double trouble is still on a break. 
> 
> As for my Big Blue House: I am focusing all of my energy into Double Trouble because it’s what I’m feeling more, but as soon as I am done with the first book of that, I will be rewriting a Big Blue House to be better because I think it could improve.
> 
> Leave a kudo, a comment on your feelings, how you’re doing this spooky month, any constructive criticisms, or any prompts! I am very open to prompts!


	3. A little bit sloshed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the Yule Ball and Blaise and Draco are drunk. Draco more so. A bit of romance between them plays out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not your thing don’t read. It’s barely my ship tbh. I honestly don’t know why or how I wrote this but I did and I stand by it. It was meant to be drarry lmaoooooooo. 😭😭😭

Draco leant against Blaise a bit and giggled. He might have been a tad drunk. Okay, a lot drunk, but in his defence; he was sure his vodka had been spiked. 

His legs are were getting tired so he manoeuvred himself and Blaise onto the floor, hidden inside one of the castle’s many crevices. The music from the Yule Ball was still blasting loudly. Blaise was humming to it.

His suit felt uncomfortable. Too stuffy. Stupid collar that was too high up. Stupid. He clumsily took off his jacket and tied it around his waist, not caring how it looked. Blaise’s eyes followed his movement. 

“Wow. You are definitely drunk.” Blaise told him.

Draco chuckled lowly. “Yep.” He popped the ‘p’. He leant into Blaise’s shoulder. “You’re warm...”

“Absolutely plastered. How much alcohol did you drink?” Blaise asked him. Draco hummed into his shoulder.

“A couple er’ flasks an’ some punch.” He mumbled.

“Was the punch also spiked?” 

“You ask too many questions.” Draco said a   
-matter-of-factly. He looked at Blaise’s face. Blaise had really long eyelashes. Draco told him as much.

Blaise blushed faintly. Or Draco thought he did. You couldn’t really see it because of his skin tone. Draco was jealous. You could always tell when Draco turned pink. He was pale as parchment and twice as white. Or something. 

“You should probably go back to dorms to sleep this off.” Blaise told him, and Draco was once again reminded that Blaise talked too much. But he listened to him anyway. It was only polite.

“Mmkay, let’s go.” Draco jumped to his feet (wobbling slightly) and pulled on Blaise’s hand. “C’mon. Let’s gooooo!” He tried to drag the other boy along.

“Calm down Drake, the dorms are that way.” Blaise pointed him in the opposite direction that he was going. He was so helpful. Draco held onto his hand tightly. So helpful...

“Did you jus’ call me Drake?” Draco asked him, slurring slightly. Blaise loosened his hand in Draco’s grip.

“I guess I’m a bit drunk too.” He forced out, looking down. Draco squeezed the boy’s hand. 

“I like it. Like the way you say it. Draaake. Drake. Sounds nice.” He told Blaise. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

They continued walking in silence until they reached the dorms and the little snake things they had to talk to. 

“Wotser’ password?” Draco asked Blaise. Blaise would know. Blaise was helpful. 

“Snow snakes.” Blaise said, and they were allowed into the common room.

Draco lead Blaise to their shared dorm and still held his hand as he collapsed backwards onto his bed. He closed his eyes.

“Draco...”

“Mm?”

“This is my bed.” 

Draco opened his eyes and sure enough, he was on the other side of the room. His bed was neater than this one. And his bed didn’t have a Blaise Zabini lying in it.

Though he kind of wished it did...

“Let’s close the curtains.” Draco said as he pulled them shut around the bed. Then it was just him and Blaise, sitting on a dark bed, shrouded in green light. Draco thought Blaise looked rather fetching in green. It was a good thing he was a Slytherin. Draco giggled and grinned at Blaise. 

“Um, Draco...”

“You wanna know a secret?” Draco interrupted him.

“What?”

“It’s a really good secret...” Blaise looked interested. And a bit amused. Draco didn’t know why.

“Okay, tell me the secret.” Blaise said.

Draco leaned forward on his knees and went next to Blaise’s ear to whisper it. His breath hovered over the shell and Draco noticed Blaise shiver.

“I have never kissed anyone.” Draco whispers conspiratorially and Blaise snickers. 

“Such a dark secret, Draco, I’m surprised with you.” Draco nods at this assessment.

“I’ve never told anyone. And you can’t tell anyone! It’s really important you don’t tell anyone.” Draco knows he barely needs to tell Blaise this. Blaise is helpful. Blaise wouldn’t tell.

“Okay, I won’t tell anyone.” Blaise crossed his heart and Draco nodded again satisfactorily. “You wanna know a secret about me?” He asked. 

“Oooh, tell me, tell me.” Draco ordered, hitting his fist on Blaise’s leg.

Blaise went onto his knees and leaned over towards Draco to whisper in his ear as well. His breath tickled. Draco giggled.

“I...have also never kissed anyone...” 

Draco pulled away in confusion.

“But what about that girl from the summer? You’ve been bragging about it since September! And what about that girl on Halloween? You said you and Carrie snogged in the defence classroom?” Draco questions him. Blaise shrugged.

“I made them up. I actually had a pretty boring summer, so I wanted to make up something to sound more interesting...so I lied.” Blaise stared intently at his lap. Draco cocked his head.

“Good.”

“Good?” Blaise asked.

“Good. I’m glad you haven’t kissed anyone.” Draco told him.

“Really?” Blaise asked him, eyebrow raised. “What a friend you are.”

“I’m glad you haven’t. Because I wanna kiss you.” 

“What?” 

As soon as the word was uttered Draco was leaning forward towards Blaise, eyes locked on his lips. His eyes began to flutter closed involuntarily as his head closed the gap between them. 

They were kissing. Draco was kissing Blaise. It should have felt really weird. But it didn’t. It was strange, sure, but it didn’t feel that way. It felt like mouth, Blaise’s mouth. His lips were soft. It felt kind of nice.

And as Draco pushed head head further forward, Blaise parted his lips and that felt fantastic! Draco let out a groan and welcomed the other boy’s mouth eagerly.

He continued to push Blaise, easing him onto his back before pinning him to the bed between Draco’s legs. 

Draco smiled onto Blaise’s mouth and chuckled. Blaise hooked his arms round his head and tugged lightly at Draco’s blonde locks. He bit Blaise’s lip in surprise and whimpered. This really was fantastic!

As they continued to kiss, Draco splayed a hand over Blaise’s chest to secure himself. But then he began to giggle.

And giggle.

They broke the kiss and Blaise looked at Draco with large and glazed over pupils and Draco giggled even harder.

“Why’r laughing?” Blaise asked dazedly. Draco laughed some more.

“I dunno.” He hiccuped through a laugh. “I got the giggles.” He swatted at Blaise’s broad as ever chest. Blaise seemed to come his senses at that.

“Okay, you’re still drunk.” Draco’s giggled calmed down and he tried to scowl. He didn’t think he was very intimidating. The other boy was smirking.

“I am NOT drunk.” Draco stuck out his tongue. “I am only a tiny bit sloshed. A little buzzed, tha’s all.” He waved Blaise away. 

“You admitted that you were earlier!” 

“That was before I knew you were going to stop kissing me!” Blaise nearly turned pink then. Draco could tell. Serves him right. Him and all his not-kissing-Draco-because-he-could-be-drunk chivalry. Chivalry was for Gryffindors. Blaise should kiss him like a Slytherin.

“Okay then, you should go to sleep.” Draco hiccuped. “You’re probably tired.”

Draco yawned and sighed. “Yep.” He popped the ‘P’.

“Great, now I’ll leave a a glass of water by your bedsi-“ Draco wrapped his arms round Blaise’s torso and collapsed onto the bed, his small amount of weight tugging them both down.

“Goodnight.” He sighed and rested his face on Blaise’s ever so broad chest. Blaise froze up.

“Um...Draco....”

“Mm?”

“...nothing.”

“Mmkay.” Draco tightened his arms and relaxed as Blaise’s arms relaxed round him as well. 

“...”

“Hey Blaise?” He whispered. 

“What?”

“Do you want to know another secret?” 

“I don’t really think I ought to know anymore-“

“That was a good first kiss.”

“...it was?”

Draco nodded against the boy’s chest. It was.

“And another thing,” Draco whispered in Blaise’s, nibbling on it slightly to tease him. Blaise’s shoulders tensed up.

“...what?” 

Draco’s warm breath consumed Blaise’s ear.

“We should do this again...” Draco told him and softly kissed his cheek. Blaise smiled awkwardly.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and y’all better give me some prompts. I am open to a bunch of them because this is what I do to get creative. I’m working on the next chapter of double trouble, it should be out soon.
> 
> Love you all, leave a comment and a kudo my angel cakes, and be sure to wear a mask and stay safe out there! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


	4. Calloused Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol it’s like 12.15AM and I’m sad so I wrote this as an add on for my Double Trouble latest chapter so b shure to read that before this if you want total context 
> 
> Otherwise here’s some drarry angst and Draco being messy and unloved and I’m gonna cry again

Potter lay his hand gently on Draco’s face, cupping his cheeks softly. Draco blinked through the blur dumbly as the boy caressed one cheek with a calloused thumb

For a single second everything stood still.

For that single second Draco’s mind went to very stupid places, very concerning places, that he either had to repress or squash down inside of him to rot away. He was good at squashing down emotions and feelings, he’d been doing it all his life. 

Like Mother said, you compartmentalise your thoughts in many different drawers, and then when you have a thought you don’t like or you want to keep hidden, you put it in a specific drawer and lock the door.

But if there was ever one thing that shook open all of his doors, it was Potter. 

He somehow knew exactly how to get under his skin, to get Draco to show the very worst of himself. He was no longer composed. He could become embarrassed, openly angry, pompous, incredibly boastful, and unfortunately passionate in his insults.

Being passionate is never for pure bloods. He should know this. He NEEDED to know this. But every time he saw Potter his guts started to feel weird and he just had to do something stupid to try and impress him. To prove that he was better and a good rival. He was worth Potter’s time. 

But in that single second where Potter’s calloused thumb gently, oh-so-gently, and tenderly and caring and *lovingly* caressed Draco’s cheek, the only thing Draco could ever focus on was the green shade of Potter’s eyes and how much Draco wanted to kiss him. 

It was scarcely a caress, it was such a small and insignificant movement as he held Draco’s face, but Draco could have sworn he was about to break down as soon as it happened.

He’d never had his face held like this before, being the sole attention for the one person he constantly bothered for such validation. And even though Potter was squinting slightly, Draco still knew the exact shade of Potter’s eyes.

Pine green.

Some people would consider them emerald green, but to Draco they reminded him of the pine forest outside of the manor. He would always get lost in them. In the forest, he means, and potter’s eyes match them exactly. 

Looking deep into Potter’s eyes through those damn specs, Draco realised that he might have a small crush on Potter. Just a little bit. He might be a tad attracted to his messy raven locks, his smooth almond skin, his pine green eyes, and his calloused hands. He might be a bit attracted to all of those, and then some.

He might find Potter’s heroics entertaining and exciting to hear about.

He might find Potter’s jokes to be terrible in the best way.

He might find Potter’s insults to be as witty and clever as Draco’s.

He might find Potter’s sass to be funny and charming.

He might find Potter to be all these things, and the realisation might make his heart hurt and his ears throb and his eyes mist and his face burn a bright red but he’ll still keep all of that a secret. 

He’ll push all of those feelings down and lock them in his ‘Never To Be Opened’ drawer and pretend they don’t exist and that will be fine.

But as long as he can live in this moment.

This one moment where Potter is ever so carefully holding Draco’s face in his hands to try and get his glasses back, and his thumb has gently (and probably accidentally) caressed Draco’s cheek and his pine eyes are squinting and Draco is blushing while wearing those stupid specs, feeling embarrassed but also never more cared for and loved and cherished them if he can have that one stupid little moment then Draco will be happy.

Because that moment comes with the realisation that he really *really* likes Potter. 

And that makes the moment last a big longer.

It’s only been a second but Draco has experienced everything at once and it’s taken forever.

But Potter is taking back his glasses and putting them back on and moving away while Draco is yearning to move back towards him and to grab his collar and do what every romantic protagonist does and kiss him fiercely.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t have the balls.

And while being a Slytherin coward he turns back towards the movie that started all of this and secretly holds on to that one special moment. He turns it around in his head and commits it to memory. That’s all he lets himself do because everything else, all the feelings and epiphanies, he pushes down and locks in a drawer and pretends they don’t exist.

He can’t risk it. 

Because even though he hasn’t lived it yet, and is so deep in his own denial, he understands that he can’t do anything about those feelings. He won’t let himself get crushed and fall of the tracks. He won’t let Potter break him.

He refuses to let Potter’s hands on his face and his thumb on his cheek have so much control over him.

But Draco already knows Potter has that control over him.

So to his feelings, he squashes them down, gently mind you, and puts them safely in a drawer. They’re to be forgotten and kept a secret but regardless he keeps them safe. 

He keeps them safe just in case.

Just in case.

Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that you wonderful people have a good day and a happy good day 😙😙😙😙 kith kith kith 
> 
> Have a good one amigos and share ur thoughts haha I need sleep now 
> 
> If u saw spellibg errors no you didn’t


	5. Draco’s Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco goes through a bit of a breakdown in the snow. Just a bit of rambles, angst and no shipping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am halfway through the next chapter for Double Trouble I SWEAR! I am so sorry about my update schedule but I am making progress and have been writing a drarry Rapunzel AU in my meantime but besides the point I hope you enjoy whatever this is!
> 
> I don’t even know what this is ahsgehusbebdjebehdbejdbe

Draco was having one of his moments.

His ‘moments’, as Pansy referred to them, were times when his brain couldn’t handle itself and made him overwhelmed. It usually ended in crying or a couple hours of complete silence or solitude.

Today was different.

It was winter. December 21st to be exact. And Draco was at Hogwarts. 

Pansy had gone home for the holidays, and and selfish as it had been, Draco couldn’t stand returning to Malfoy Manor so soon. Even for mother, everything was too painful, and he didn’t want to spend the holidays having panic attacks and living it all in a blur. 

What good that did.

Because Pansy was gone and he wasn’t with mother, he had no one who knew how to bring him back down to earth. He’d been having one of his moments for two days now. Over 48 hours of being trapped in his head. 

Blaise had helped him eat something occasionally, he even drank some water, which was massive progress. He wouldn’t do much else thought. His entire body felt numb.

To try and fight this numbness, Draco had left the castle to go for a walk. 

He’d ended up lying in the frost and snow to freeze, and couldn’t bring himself to get back up.

The cold was seeping through his coat, and the cold numbness was far crueler than his brain’s numbness. His hair was covered in ice. He probably looked like a twat. 

His hands were outstretched in a star shape, fingertips reaching for anything but only gripping snow. He wasn’t wearing any gloves. His hands were cold.

Everything was cold.

He thought oddly for a moment what it would be like to die there, to go to sleep in the snow and not wake up. To close his eyes and let the frost take him. 

He knew this wouldn’t happen, but his addled mind hoped that it would. It wasn’t like he was getting up anytime soon either. 

He hadn’t spoken a word for over 48 hours too. He was usually very talkative, shown especially when he makes an arse of himself. He never knew when to shut up.

He thinks that being quiet is the best part of his moments. Means that other people get a break. He ought to have his brain stop working more often.

The cold wetness continued to seep through his coat.

He didn’t know why he had these moments, these breakdowns. He’d read a pamphlet or two on PTSD, but shook it off. He wasn’t traumatised, he was FINE. It was all fine. He was just dramatic.

He’d heard about side effects of excessive use of the Cruciartus Curse on people as well, but refused to acknowledge it. He wasn’t going to St Mungos to become some bedridden Longbottom; a poor victim of the war. He wasn’t that far gone.

Was he?

Draco’s supposed it didn’t matter. He’d decided that he was going to die in the snow anyway. He gotten accustomed to the biting cold on his bare neck. Almost comforting as he associated it with an early demise. It felt easy.

Hyperthermia is always an option. Pansy usually stopped him from listing off ways to go, but it’s a fun past time. Keeps his brain occupied. Pansy joined in only once when they were both very drunk. Most of her suggestions were funny and lewd. This was apart from one suggestion, when her face closed up and her wine bottle was held in a tighter grip. 

“I always think about going to a potions shop in Knockturn and taking a whole bunch of sleeping draught vials.” She’d said. “They wouldn’t care, they don’t balance amounts. Then I’d go back to my flat and drink them all. It might take days before anyone finds me, no one would even care. My body would be rotting by then.” She’d told him. Then she had started crying. “I think about it all the time. My body lying there on my carpet, dead as Greg. Only if have no Vince to mourn me.” Then she’d started laughing, and Draco took the wine bottle from her. 

“Let’s play a different game.” He’d suggested, and they’d swiftly moved on to Kiss, Marry, Kill. He’d held her tightly though, and had stroked her hair. He hoped the message was clear.

_**I’d** care if you died. I love you more than anyone._

Maybe he should of told her properly before he’d committed to this dying in the snow idea.

Nah, it was subtextual. 

The way to go that Draco always thought about was jumping off his broom. He’d take it onto the quidditch field at night, fly it high into the clouds, and then he’d fall off. He thinks that’d be a nice way to go, to get to fly one last time. If he fell back first then that meant that the last thing he’d see would be a starry sky at Hogwarts.

He’d always loved the stars. Those pretty dots in the sky that told a million tales. He always figured they were the best story tellers. 

It was an idyllic way to go, and he knew he was purposefully focusing on the sky full of stars rather than the sickening crunch his back would make as it hit the floor, but he didn’t care. He let himself relish in the image of him falling through a pretty night sky, dying tragically young.

It was all very poetic and wonderful.

But he supposed he could forgo that wondrous plan for a more humble and peaceful one where he died in the snow. Where he let go of everything and let the grass grow over his body. Becoming a boy of the ground as it consumed him. The snow would fall over him and he’d freeze to death peacefully in his sleep. 

He was glorifying it again, but in that moment he still didn’t care. 

He knew he wouldn’t actually die. That when it’s get too cold he’d pull himself up and would walk back to the dorms in a damp and frosty silence. That he’d hold out for his beloved Pansy, because while he didn’t tell her how much he cared, he did promise her he’d stick around. 

But this was his moment.

So he let his eyes fall shut.

And let the cold wash over him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest I wrote this is in the dead of night as a fever dream because it was snowing where I was. 
> 
> I’m sorry if I haven’t picked your prompts, just keep commenting to remind me rip I am sorry 😭 I will get round to them eventually. I hope you have a nice day and stay tuned for the next chapter of Double Trouble!


	6. Dating?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 2 times Pansy tries to ask out Draco and the 0 times it actually works.
> 
> TW: contains slight homophobic slurs but not in the tone of hatred. Just of the era I suppose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I am so close to finishing the next chapter of double trouble I am just swamped in school work and my own procrastination.

Pansy Parkinson was a winner.

She was raised to be one. She was good at winning.

But you can’t always be a winner, because that would mean being good at everything. You need to pick and choose your fights, and always be certain in yourself.

Only commit to things when you know they’ll benefit you.

This is why it felt like a cold slap to the face when she finally didn’t win.

Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy was a very pureblood person. As pureblood as you could get. As they’d joked plenty of times, if you went through his family tree it began to look more like a bush. It was a miracle he was the way he was.

Pansy sometimes wished he wasn’t the way he was.

She’d known him since they were both five years old. Her mother way making connections with the family and Pansy had to come with her to Malfoy Manor. Draco had shown Pansy his room, proudly shown off his toys and his knew plastic broom, and then he played dress up with her.

He always put her first, since the beginning. Back then it was probably because Narcissa had told him to be nice to a guest, but since that first encounter Draco had always put Pansy’s needs first.

So when she found out he was smart, confident, funny and sensitive as well as that, it only made sense that she developed a crush on him.

No one understood her like Draco. She could tell him everything, and he would never write is off as girl troubles or an overreacted like her older sister or Blaise did. He always took her seriously and offered support.

He was almost too perfect for her. 

Which is why it was obviously true.

She was 8 years old the first time she tried to ask him out. Just like the book characters did, she walked up to him and asked him if he wanted to grab a bite to eat. He summoned a house elf for her. Oblivious.

She then tried to compliment him and told him he had pretty eyes. He only smiled and said he got them from his mum. Oblivious.

She then decided to be out with it and told him she wanted to date him. He was confused.

—

“Dating?”

“Yes!” She huffed. “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“But I’m already your boyfriend!” He retorted.

She looked at him surprised. “You are?”

“Well...I’m a boy...and I’m your friend. So yeah, I’m your boyfriend.”

She huffed again. “No, like a proper boyfriend! I want you to be my boyfriend like Leopold is to Kristina in ‘Star Dancing Love’. Romantic and stuff.”

Draco looked scandalised. “I thought you didn’t actually read it!” He hissed. “That’s a grown up book!”

“Well I am grown up!” Pansy sniffed. “Mother says I’m growing up to become a lovely young lady. And lovely young ladies deserve nice boyfriends. And you’re nice.” She poked him on the arm. He stuck out his tongue.

“What do romantic people do? Is it like mum and dad?” He asked.

“Kind of.” She nodded. He grimaced.

“Ew.” He stated. “Like kissing? That’s real grown up stuff.”

“I am a real grown up!” Pansy whined. “I just said that I am becoming a young lady! I am a lovely young lady now!” She stamped her foot. “Don’t you want to be grown up?” 

Draco glanced at the floor for a second before nodding. “Yeah.”

“Then kiss me!” She ordered, pointing at her lips. He looked at her nervously. 

“Do I have to? Can’t we just hold hands. That’s fun. Don’t Leopold and Kristina do that?” He tried to bargain.

“But that’s not grown up enough!” Pansy stamped her feet again. “I want you to be my real boyfriend so you have to kiss me! On the lips!” She told him. He shuffled his feet.

“Fine.” He stood up and walked in front of her. He put one hand on her shoulder awkwardly, and the other on her waist, as if they were about to dance. He glanced up at her face again before a focused look overtook him. Then he determinedly leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. 

It was a short kiss. Chaste. Since as soon as it happened Draco broke away and began giggling. 

“Grown up stuff is weird.” He said through giggles. Pansy pouted.

“I thought it was nice.” She argued, but she didn’t really. It wasn’t really much of anything. It was just two mouths. But she was grown up now and grown ups did it all the time.

“I don’t really want to kiss you, Pansy.” Draco told her. “But I will be your boyfriend and do everything else. Holding hands and playing together is fun!” 

Pansy shook her head. “No, that’s just friends.” She dismissed. “But don’t worry, I’ll wait until you’re more grown up. It’s not your fault that girls mature faster than boys.”

He looked at her gratefully. “Okay Pansy. Do you want to play quidditch?”

“Never.”

— 

The second time she asked him out was much the same, only far more heartbreaking. 

It was their second year at Hogwarts. Pansy was far more grown up this time. And she thought Draco was too.

He’d only become better with age, and he’d finally began to stop wearing that ridiculous hair gel. He had grown much taller than her, and was beginning to lose quite a bit of facial baby fat. Truly growing into the aristocratic look all of his family possessed.

Pansy could firmly say that she was smitten. 

-

“Dating?” He asked her from the common room sofa.

“Yes.” She smiled. “I would like you to be my boyfriend.”

“But...why now?”

“It has been 4 years since I last asked. And you were just talking about how far ahead you are at spell work than Potter.” 

“So?”

“So wouldn’t you be far more grown up now?” She batted her eyelashes. “And mature?” She drew circles on his arm with one manicured nail.

Draco flushed. “Right yeah, of course I’m mature. Of course.” He looked round the common room, which was mostly empty. “Did anything bring this on?” He looked quite nervous. Pansy, like an idiot, didn’t notice at the time.

“I was just thinking about how you put that little mudblood in their place this morning.” Her grin was sharp. “How you taught that scum how much better Purebloods are.”

She’d been hanging off his arm as he’d hexed the Mudblood, cackling at how their face had been reshaped. The mudblood had aimed the first shot, and told Pansy her face looked like a pig, that she had the weight of one too. 

Draco leapt to her defence immediately, despite the mudblood looking like a fourth year, and fired many face shaping hexes.

He was lovely like that. 

Draco hummed uncertainly. “I’m not sure Pansy... “

“Well why not?” Her face scrunched up. “I’ve done my waiting! Four years of it! All for you!” She screeched.

Draco played with his hands. “I just-“

“Am I not pretty enough?” Her eyes began to fill with tears. “You’re my friend well enough, you only like me that much. Is it my face? Is it my weight? Am I really similar to a pig?” A couple tears began to fall in the dramatics and Draco began to panic.

“No no no of course not, of course you’re really pretty Pans! Pretty Pansy Parkinson, that’s what the boys in the dorm call you, I swear!” He stood up.

“It’s probably Piggy Pansy Parkinson.” She began to cry. Draco held her hands and squeezed.

“Pansy please I promise! I promise you’re very pretty, you have a really gorgeous face. You don’t resemble any animal, you resemble an angel more than anything else, just please stop crying.” He rambled, trying to persuade her. She wiped away her tears.

“Really?”

“Of course. I’d never lie to you.” He gave her a hug.

“So you’ll be my boyfriend then?” She begged him, staring into his lovely grey eyes.

“I-“

“Because it is the way things should be. I know you like me a bit, you kissed me when we were younger!” She tells him. “And Posy says that we’d make a great couple, and Mother says that you’d make a good husband, and I think you’d be a good boyfriend, so why can’t you see? We make sense together.” She implored him. Draco shut his eyes. 

“I think I’m gay!” He blurted out.

Pansy froze. So did he.

“...what?” She asked after a moment of shock.

“We do make sense. A lot. And I do think you look really pretty and fun and I love you a lot, but I can’t imagine dating you. And it isn’t that I’m not ready, because...I can imagine dating Blaise.” He blushed brightly. “Not that I’d want to! Its just that if I were going to! All hypothetical!”

“But...you can’t hypothetically imagine dating me?” She asks quietly. 

He nods sadly.

“Being queer is pretty awful.” She told him, prodding his arm. “You’d be in big trouble if it got out.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.” His eyes were wild and scared. “Father will kill me. Mum would be sad. I’d probably be disowned.”

“Of course I’m not going to tell anyone.” Pansy huffed. “I love you too much you idiot. I just think it’s a shame.” She sighed against him and wiped away a remaining tear. “We would make so much sense.”

“We would.” He fiddles with his sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

“What, about being gay?” She asked, humoured. It wasn’t as funny when he nodded. 

“I’m sorry for being gay. I really do want to like you back.”

“Well don’t try too hard, no offence but I don’t want a fag going after me.” She pinched his cheek and smiled. “That’d be worse than my single life.”

“We are only in second year.” He reminded her. She shrugged.

“Tell Posy and Mother that.” She held his hand and squeezed it. 

They sat down in silence for a little while.

“Blaise is rather fit actually. I might try to date him instead.” She said.

“Over me already?” He teased.

“Quite. I live fast.” She tossed her hair. “I’d also like to nab him before you steal him first.” She teased back. He went a bright shade of pink again, and internally she still swooned. Him being gay didn’t stop him being cute. 

She wished.

He was what she didn’t win. She deserved him as a prize, he was oh so special, and it would finally give her a particular one up above all the other Slytherin girls, especially the one who spread around her comparison to a pig, even to stupid mudbloods. 

She wasn’t used to losing. 

She wasn’t very sporty, so she never played. That got rid of those losses. She didn’t play many games either. She was careful not to commit too much to her school work, and seeing Dumbledore’s favouritism from day one, she prepared herself for the inevitable House cup loss. 

She trained herself rigorously in chess until she was the very best in Slytherin. Those were her guaranteed wins. Ones which she was certain in.

And she was so certain of Draco that it threw her for a loop a bit.

She was Pansy Parkinson. Draco’s right hand woman, the theorised girlfriend, the Slytherin princess. 

Without being with Draco, what more did that leave her in terms of reputation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! I am kind of obsessed with writing for Pansy and about Pansy (it’s because I’m in love) so this is that. 
> 
> Leave a kudo, bookmark, subscribe, comment, all of the things if you enjoyed and would like more content, my other fanfic Double Trouble is where actual effort is placed. 
> 
> I love you all! Until next time! xxxx ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Yooooo leave a kudo and a comment, or don’t, I’m fine either way. But do answer this question. You want me to make another, separate fic composed of some baby one shots I make. It can some scraps to keep you entertained while I stress about my other fics. So give me some feedback darlings! They’d mostly be Draco Malfoy and Slytherin centred, with maybe a one one Harry and Bisexual panic, idk...
> 
> Love you all my darlings! You are my stars and I hope you keep shining and have a fab day! ❤️❤️❤️


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